Friday, April 25, 2008

SONGS OF MELANCHOLY BLUES

Well I have to admit that I am a loser in most of the spheres of life. Be it anything I have not got that level of success that I always crave for.

Now my biggest loss comes in the field of love. I have fallen in love many a times but twice I think I have totally devoted myself to her and both the times I got nothing but a kick from her. Well that’s how I got paid from her side. Never mind. I kind of deserved it. Unrequited love and what else!

Now there are songs that always increase my pain and I really like it. No I am no masochist but this is true.

For example, jet city woman by queensryche. What a song, the agony of the lover is portrayed so well and the lyrics are so strong that it wanna make you cry.

Then take this song by 3 doors down- here without you, another song worth listening when you are feeling blue. There are lots of songs that will help you ease your pain and also there are songs that will increase that pain. I follow the latter. This song might decrease your pain but these songs just increase mine and I kinda like it. Come on I think it’s the way I can perform a little bit of penance of my misdeeds. Falling in love, going quiet mad for her, showing her love. All fucking bullshit! I should have never fallen in love. I have no one to blame but me. But then again it was a kind of experience that though was bad for me I will always cherish throughout my life. At least it gave mea lesson that have changed my outlook.

I thank all those girls who have rejected me. Thank you. I am sane just because of you all. Your rejection has made the man out of me and I am fool for your loving no more.

Incubus was right……”love hurts but sometimes it’s a good hurt”

Thursday, January 3, 2008

LOVE IS HARD

Love is hard. Deny it or accept it. That's what's going on through my friend's life right now. He loves a girl who is still holding on to her lost love. I can't see my friend suffer but I can't help it.
He loves her. She loves him. Puzzled?
So I am
My friend says there will be other girlsbut he knows it well there will be no one like her. So there's nothing we could do. Atleast not me. I would just watch and wait.
I always tell him that patience is the most discreet weapon right now.
Now I have to see what happens. Maybe things might not go where it should go.
But this is life. It has many stops. Let me see where the journey ends
Till then adieu

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Don't cry tonight

Short Story: Don’t Cry Tonight

Kolkata.

Hiya waited impatiently near St.Xavier’s College for Ronit. He was supposed to come exactly at five but it was now six. She could not wait longer. She could wait longer for this person some days back. But not now. She had made up her mind about leaving him.

Ronit had totally forgotten about today’s date. He came late from college today and had dozed off. Then at exactly five o’clock he had woke up only to shudder with fear that he had a date with Hiya.

The young man was seeing Hiya for the last one hour. He was observing how slowly her face was changing with emotions. She was waiting for someone.

Ronit came out of his house. He found his bike missing. He could only blame his bad luck. It was taken by his brother.he had to find some other way to reach her or today everything would come to an end. Hiya had agreed to meet one more time to sort out the differences with him and he had to meet her. St.Xaviers college was far from his home. The bike was the only hope. Now what.

Hiya had also seen the smartly dressed man standing a little far from her. Hiya could sense that he was seeing her and hiya due to some unknown reason quiet liked his attention. Maybe it was due to the tumultuous relationship with Ronit or maybe she was also just in a mood to flirt. Hiya waited.

Ronit took a taxi. The taxi was racing fast towards Park Street. Ronit remembered the first day when he had met hiya. He still reckoned it as the greatest day of his life. But today he was losing her.

‘Hello. I am Amit. I am seeing you for the last one hour. you sure are waiting for someone.’ Finally Amit Dasgupta made an approach. The animal in him was rising.

The taxi came to a screeching halt at Bekbagan. Ronit’s eyes just exploded at what he saw.

‘So you were waiting for your boyfriend.’ Amit ask. They were now sitting in the new coffee cafĂ© day outlet that just opened near St.Xaviers. It took him little chivalry and little persuasion to invite Hiya out for coffee. He reasoned that she could always get a miscall from her boyfriend once he reaches there.

Ronit frantically searched for his mobile. In his hurry he had forgotten it. The rioters were burning cars. They were out on a carnage. The taxi driver had already left the taxi in fear. Ronit sat still not knowing what to do.

Abir, one of the rioters was in full action. He had already broken and smashed cars and faces of some policeman who had tried to stop him.

“Kill them all. Burn them all” He screamed.

“You are so funny.” Hiya laughed at one of Amit’s badly told joke. It was 6:15 pm. No sign of Ronit.

Now its kolkata that’s burning. The city of joy that’s under a scathing attack from some fanatics and in between them is stuck a lover who want to reach his girlfriend to say sorry and make up.

Ronit was pursued by some of the rioters.

“Who the fuck told you to come out of your home today?”Abir screamed.

There was no prior warning regarding this. They just wanted to burn and kill and probably they had their first victim in Ronit.

“I don’t think your friend will come today.” Amit finally said. They were in a different part where the news of the riot was yet to reach.

News reporter Arundhuti Sinha had reached the riot hit part with her crew who were shooting the rioters with great enthusiasm. It was sure going to be a breaking news.

The camera caught the predicament of ronit who was running fast away from the angry mob.

It was nearly seven. Hiya had had it enough. Now she knew Ronit didn’t liked her. She found this new guy interesting. He was asking her to come for a movie. She nodded her sense in a deep sense of loss. Ronit was the chapter in her life she wanted to close down for her own good. She wanted to begin afresh. She said yes. Both of them got up and headed towards Amit’s glittering Hyundai car.

Ronit couldn’t even scream as the sword went right inside his stomach. Images of hiya floated in front of him. He felt hiya was calling him. He was sorry. He couldn’t keep his promise. Abir stabbed him once again with the rusted sword. Ronit felt on the pavement as his face was circulated all across west Bengal via news channel.

Arundhuti sinha was speaking to the news channel. She was happy. It was going to be a breaking news. The police had just started coming in. The bleeding body of Ronit was just shifted to an ambulance. The mobs were dispersing. A few blank shots in the air and they were running. They were not to be arrested. They were the supporters of some big leader.

Hiya shuddered in the hospital bed. Her mom was crying inconsolably. Her dad was speaking to some police officials. Amit was arrested. All due to the alertness of a traffic seargent . but the damaged was done. She had lost what she had.

Ronit’ bloodied was rushed into Ruby general hospital where Hiya was also kept. Doctors didn’t find much hope. He only had few hours. His parents and brother was informed.

He had lost too much blood but who would tell them that he was dying of a broken heart.

“God why did you call me so early?”

“My child I need you.”

“What about her?”

“My child she can wait for you. I have to punish her for not believing in your love.”

Ronit cried. Even as he felt he was dying, the world around him was turning dark he cried. He cried. He cried for Hiya.

The doctors declared him dead.

Hiya was not even crying. She had learnt about Ronit. He was dead. Police officer Samanta Roy was there to take her statement. She didn’t spoke. Tears slowly poured from her eyes. Slowly the realization set upon her that her Ronit was dead. She was crying now. Officer Roy left. He could come again tomorrow.

Reporter Arundhuti Sinha was cutting cake in her office for covering such a deadly situation and bringing out the scoop which boosted the TRPS of Kolkata Times to new heights. Ad offers were pouring in from all over. She was promoted. She could have never been so happy.

That night as she lay on her bed she heard someone singing. She went out to the window. Her mom was still sleeping. She had not heard the song.

“ Give me a whisper
And give me a sign
Give me a kiss before you
tell me goodbye
Don't you take it so hard now
And please don't take it so bad
I'll still be thinkin' of you
And the times we had...baby
And don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight”

It was Ronit’s voice. She was sure. She started crying again. She knew that even if ronit told her not to cry she could keep on crying. Nothing could stop her from crying.

Ronit left. He came back one last time. To see his beloved one more time. Someone was waiting for him up there. Maybe Hiya could manage. She was a strong girl. She had to be.

Ronit left. His heart ached but he saw the teary eyed Hiya one last time and left. Left for heaven.

As Hiya slept..the last few lines of the song lingered in her mind.........

" and don't u cry tonight....

there's a heaven above you baby............."

Monday, December 24, 2007

COMING BACK TO LIFE

Well its good to sit in the front of the computer, do blogging and listen songs especially the ones i like. Now i am back in Pune. Back to the old habitual life, back at college, back to studies, back at leching girls and back at writing as well as reading.
yes i am currently busy writing my first book.i won't tell you the details but well its underway...its a tough job u know when one sits down to write..i get frustrated at times but then an unknown energy just pushes me to write and i write pages after pages[i am yet to get a laptop]...
In my daily life i feel that there's a need for a little bit of refurbishing. I am yet to procure a girlfriend. But in the past 6 months I don't feel a need of a girl...i am happy being single..
The past two weeks have been hectic because i completed 4 books...jet city woman by ankush saikia, almost single by advaita kala, simoqin prophecies by samit basu and love in the time of cholera by gabriel garcia marquez....
all left me mesmerized...my thirst was quenched
and the most significant happening of my life took place yesterday when i read the true love story of a girl in her blog.....unknown to her obviously........
it was written with a paradigm of subtleness and executed with the right emotions..hell the story was only 5 pages long but it was damn great...i could have provided u the link but then she might get offended.because only a few[one is me] knows that its completely her story
now i stop writing because my time is up

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Nerdy Confessions

Well when i boarded the train to Pune the first thing in my mind was to get a girlfriend for myself which i had failed miserably to get in Asansol. i was sure that i was enough smart to hook a girl for myself but again my dreams were squashed when i landed here. well i was branded a nerd i the third day of my rendezvous. reasons again hell those damn reasons.
well it was geetai shopping mall where i first met a girl. i was with my friends and the girl just dismissed me by saying that i was a PORAKU BACCHA. chances lost.
again i as introduced to another girls who were far beyond my capacity to potafy. well i was audacious enough to read the news paper in front of them. they later called me a strange. well iam sure that they never knew the word nerd.
well in pune i am yet to find one some one worth m suit. i just can't hook with anuyone. can i. well i had found one ,she is in kolkata now and she does not love me. well that's fate.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

The Darkness Before The Revelation I

well well i am back with a serious blog this time. well i mean all my blogs are serious but this one will follow an up to date version of my constant frustrations.
This i will take as a prologue. well every book has a prologue. if i consider my life as a book then well this is my prologue. now there are other sorts of things like prequel,sequel and bla bla bla. well i will start before the time when i arrived to pune with a bunch of dreams wrapped in a bouquet. well one by one the the bouquet was unfolded and only a little of this dreams are left behind but what i think is that those are enough for me.
my first dream was......to get myself a super sexy girlfriend.... hehehehehehehehe
no one was/is interested in this nerdy jock........

my second dream was to search her... yeah someone special is here.even he is here.....both are here...so my dream is realized

my third dream was regarding her....but i fucked up my relationship with her in just 14 days[choddo din].well literally i fucked up my chance for one true love.....

well lots and lots of dreams but i have only one life....only one life to fulfill it all and i sometimes wonder if i am striving towards it.the road ahead is long but i have my necessary vehicles..well sometimes i feel the pang of loneliness when i see two lovers walking down the road..then i stop myself from getting too much emotional..well if you read this just i want to tell you that i still love you..you might get angry if i tell you that i tried to hook up with many a girls but no one were like you....and no one would be like you who made my heart sing well now the songs have stopped playing out...maybe the fact is that you don't love a irresponsible, fool, jocky nerd but this nerd loves you till now...maybe i am not sure if i wait for you will you wait for me so its better let mine love for thy remain one-sided..as you said earlier that i can't forcefully make you fall in love with me..well that's true...and i have even saved that sms you send me.maybe i have made some mistakes...but i am sure that my time in pune will be as interesting as your stay back at home........
well do you hear scorpions then hear that song still loving you.well i am still loving you but please you don't love me.but i plea to you that at least remain a very good friend of mine not even my best friend but only a very good friend of mine........but don't love me....